"rape me in my thighs" - A Mariah Carey cover

i'm so sorry but i just had to post this!!!!!

Sunday's best

as i'm writing this, i am merely relying on the scant amount of adrenaline (or whatever excitory substance) in my system, which gives me a fleeting moment of desire to blog again. obviously i've neglected my blog for a long time now, and so far my recent posts haven't been substantive. anyway, there's plenty of substance to go around, but let me just enumerate the few things i have running around my head..

1. i'm happy that i haven't cried about my grades so far. despite the fact that i did fail a midterm exam in one of the major subjects. AND i got an 85 for public speaking. haha. would you believe that? me? sucking at public speaking? that would probably be the first argument i would come up with, but the rebuttal to that would be: my teacher didn't really make us to formal extemporaneous speeches and debates during the first half of the sem. on the contrary, the basis for my grade would be 2 quizzes (one of which, is an ugly 66) and the midterm exam, which, i really didn't do well in but at least i passed. right now, i'm happy that all of the drama happened before finals, so that gives me time to make up for it.

2. being EIC, is... *sigh*. sometimes i think i'm a complete idiot and people hate me. but it's a fact that i'm a neophyte through and through.

3. i can't wait for dumaguete. my friends and i are going to have the time of our lives. i'm pretty naive about these things. and it is, afterall, my first real vacation with my friends only. and the stories that my friend tells me about duma gets me all hyped about the trip. i can't wait to literally drown myself in catharsis and forget all the drama, even for a few days. i think all of us agree that somehow, dumaguete is the respite we deserve. haha

4. my family, wait, scratch that..I am having a tough time handling my mom's condition. i forgot, she's actually taking her condition really well. she's a fighter and a trooper. I hope she gets out of this stronger than before. i have to admit that the 'integrity' that i have right now is all thanks to her. she's not the one who dwells in pools of pity. on the contrary, she doesn't even realize how big problems are, or, specifically, how big my problems are. so even if i still am, unstable...slowly, i realize that i am actually doing well at brushing off bad vibes.

my clock says it's 9:20 and as usual, i devote sundays to oodles of procrastination and down time.
I forgot that it became a habit of mine to blog during the remaining hours of Sunday. Oh well, some things never change.

release, thy name is gio

i could write about how sad i am right now. because really, i am pretty sad.

or i could write about how i finally have a foothold over this whole 'school' thing, and that i can rise from the ashes after all. this new found optimism does make me feel better.

but not now. not now. please not now. let me wallow in self-pity and guilt just for tonight. please.