Monday, December 31, 2007

2008 yo!

what a year...what a year..what a year...

2007 has got to be the most turbulent roller coaster ride ever!


graduated from high school. met a family i never knew i had. called myself a college freshman. experienced the taste of defeat. lived a month of regret and angst (emo daw ako that time). succeeded in proving myself wrong. met new friends. lost some old ones. rediscovered the ones i thought i left behind. felt the pang of self-pity loads of times. extracted fish juice. lived a constant tug of war between passing and failing. puked on a bus from Cagayan. screamed at the top of my lungs. brushed shoulders with some people i never should have met....

experienced self-inadequacy.

found myself.

and lost myself again.

and made a cheesecake a few minutes ago.

i'm thankful that i've managed to come out alive. scarred and scared. but i survived. with the passing of another year, it probably took a lot of me with it. and that's not just fluff. like i said, it has been a constant tug of war between passing and failing, but as i end the year with mixed emotions, i've come to realize it's more of an internal struggle between remembering, and forgetting who i am. my situation right now could probably generate a novel's worth of drama, but let's leave it at that. but this isn't something cataclysmic. maybe i'm just too anxious to be somebody, and do the things i want to do...and the end result is what i see in the mirror. (this is essentially another story to tell, so let's leve it at that nalang.)


i know 2008 holds many possibilities for me. be it a struggle or an opportunity, let's just say i should seriously grab the bull by the horns. it feels weird to be in a situation where you're going further along, and moving onwards to greater things...and getting older and with it, shouldering more and more responsibilities. but i hope that even if it's still a blur for me right now, a clear path would someday show itself.

but in the meantime...

to the people i've always had, and to the ones i've met along the way...

thanks for a great year!

something to ponder on (audrey sent this to me a while ago...)

We will open the book. It's pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called OPPORTUNITY, and it's first chapter is NEW YEAR'S DAY.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

ticking clocks and silver bells

before anything else, i'm proud to announce to the whole world (pfftt..or maybe just the people who've stumbled onto my blog)...that i have finally bridged my multiply and this blog right here. so, that just means i'm gonna be cross-posting in some occassions.

so, boxers, shirts, belts, and a hooplah of gifts made my christmas. but i felt that this christmas held a relatively somber my case that is.

for one, i know that once i get back from the holidays, a bunch of long exams and lab reports/presentations will be waiting for me with open arms. of course, let's not forget the midterms the following week.

but maybe i'm just being superficial, OR i'm getting too old (ok, an overstatement) to appreciate the little things that make the holidays festive. i have too admit i've missed out on a lot of things that defined my childhood holidays. Cartoon network always had a christmas special, and i would watch from dawn until dusk. a few years ago, ham was consumed on a daily basis. and among other things, i don't have to worry about anything school-related, up until day or two before school actually starts.

but of course, i can't always stay a child forever. i'm starting to realize that i have a few years left before i graduate (hopefully), and join the work force. i keep on reminding myself that once, when i was a freshman in high school, i've always thought the pivotal moments in my life are still light years away. but here i am, writing this after experiencing what seemed to be a movie going fast forward (read: high school). so now that i've learned enough to actually start LEARNING something from life, i can say with confidence that time FLIES. one minute, your stepping into high school, the next, your dead (LOL).

so as i bid adieu to 2007, i want to welcome 2008 with high hopes of what lies ahead for me. i'm not getting any younger, but that doesn't mean i can't enjoy life with the people that matter.

one step at a time, as my friend would put it.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

a christmas carol (couldnt think of a decent title)

so this is the first christmas that i would actually take gift giving to the next level. pfftt...whatever that means. well, what it just means that i would give gifts not because of obligation but by some select people who made my first year of college special (and that just translates to either having lunch together on a daily basis, or the fact that they're my classmates, or both.)

but i enjoyed the idea of going the extra mile to think about what you're gonna give to your friends. and the idea of christmas shopping with your friends makes it even more palpable.

so, yana, camille and neth-chan arrived yesterday, and that would just make my christmas special.

i'm also looking forward to the BerXmas party tomorrow at MJ's house. a mini reunion with the Berx this christmas gives new meaning christmas carols that i couldn't think of right now. haha.

i kinda ended the school year 2007 wth a few bruises, courtesy of chemistry and zoology (curse you, fish juice), and i'm seriously sure that the moment we come back from the holidays, all hell will break loose, and things will definitely take a turn for the worse.

but for now,

we wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas.....and a haaaappppyyyy neeewwwww yeeeaaarrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

presents presents presents!

Sunday, December 09, 2007

the ATFest07 photo finish

This was the fiesta where...

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colleges were defined..but it seriously didn't make a big difference.

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the carnival was in town! (um, in the Ateneo nga lang.)

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charades were played, in complete abandon.

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..and a "bring me" game, becomes violent and deadly.

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a rare photographic moment was captured.

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marko tries his best to look fierce.

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torches ablaze almost burned some people's hair..

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we were called "HS alumni" for the first time.

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..and efforts weren't really recognized. *sigh*.

but in a nutshell, i could probably say that this was a great fiesta. and of course, Icecapades and porkchops on a daily basis made me happy. too bad it ended as soon as it began. oh well, next year ya tamen. ^_^

Sunday, November 18, 2007

sunday evenings spell u-p-d-a-t-e

i've just realized this.

most of the time, my grades, as well as my performance, is partially hinged on LUCK.

i'm lucky the terror teachers were not sent my way (at least i hope so.)

i'm lucky two of my fellow berx are my classmates right now. ayun, instant lab groupmates.

i'm lucky the three of us share roughly the same drive when it comes to acads.

i'm lucky my sched loves me.

but i want to prove that what i am right now is more than just the product of luck. i'm not doing it for somebody. i'm doing this for myself. you hear me world?! mmmmmmmyyyyysseeeeellllffffffffffff!!!!

---end of drama-------

the two things i SERIOUSLY must do:

1. ORGANIZE the files that have been resting in my study area. some of those friggin pieces of paper date back from my first year of high school.

2. buy REFERENCES. seriously, uso na ang pagpunta sa C&E bookshop!

3. NEVER EVER EVER EVER LOSE another pilot ballpen. ever since the start of the first semester, i've lost more than a dozen pens already. seriously.

i''ve noticed that i have the gusto to blog more during Sunday evenings. LOL

Friday, November 16, 2007

will i live? (and the alcohol that makes the wound hurt more)

i just came home from a fiasco people would like to call the "Nursing Night". I actually debated with a lot of people on whether or not i should go, and, um, i conceded defeat. the event started late (as with every event in the university), and as the "top models" walked on the catwalk, the place totally went dark for about 25 minutes. Jad, Jam and I didn't wait to finish the night, so we left as the emcees were randomly pulling people from their seats and proclaiming them candidates for "Mr. and Ms. Nursing". barf. i hate the fact that the whole nursing department requires you to attend these stupid events. i hate it i hate it i hate it!

so the first week of the sem just ended and we haven't had the formal lessons yet. the hell, we haven't even met some of our teachers.

the downside to my sched is the fact that i have to wake up a 6 for a 7am class. filipino pa talaga. lord. tuesdays and thursdays also mean going home at 7:30, and enduring a 50 minute lunch break that starts at 2:30 (3:30 on thursdays).

the upside? there is no upside.

i'm gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

the seven deadly lashes

1. why do you have to impose your ideals on me? you're seriously the epitome of arrogance and narrow-mindedness, and i'm fed up with it.

2. i don't appreciate the fact that you assert yourself too much for my taste. STOP joining our conversations, and stop eavesdropping because I don't like you.

3. i don't get why you're going backwards. you get what i mean. come on, you can't even use prepositions correctly. you second - guess yourself, and it's driving me nuts!

4. you love to study. i get it. but why do you have to kill yourself just to boost your ego?

5. you're not worth a single cent. i don't even know why you even passed the first semester anyway. you seriously think you can get in my head? well, yeah, you are! why? what did i ever do to you? asshole.

6. i hate the fact that you seek personal affirmation by showcasing your achievements. you're good, i get it. a lot of us get it. but coming from someone who actually has a mind to look beyond the smileys, just stop doing what you do. it's annoying. seriously, mayabang ka na.

7. could you just stop feigning the American way? you're personal crusade against all things "normal" is soooo fucking sad. you put people down just so you can feel good about yourself. now let's see who is laughing now.


each number is different, and the whole enchilada is not intended to be centered on a single person.

i just had the urge to release the conscious and subconscious tension that i have with certain people. i'm not stupid to name names, but let me tell you this, one of them is directed to me. ^_^. just use your imagination to probably put a person you know who fits the "lash" in the spotlight. ^_^

Thursday, November 01, 2007


i'm wasting my sembreak on pirated Avatar: the last airbender and Pokemon advanced dvds, watching stuff on youtube, downloading songs, updating my ipod, updating my multiply, and basically chowing down on century tuna (the supermeat. O_O).

wait, would you consider me wasting time? noooooo!

i prefer to think of it as "spending my time doing things that aren't related to school".

freakishly enough, it's my first time to NOT tag along with my relatives to visit our dearly departed. T_T. bad gio. bad gio. T_T

this sembreak seriously confuses my body clock, and my body calendar.

Well, to put it this way, for the past few days, i seriously didn't have a clue on what day it was.

*********************** in other news****************************

i made tuna fried rice this morning!

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made with century tuna, the supermeat! haha

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

a lazy afternoon with my cousin

a few minutes ago, i was downstairs, yelling at my 6 (or is he 7) year old cousin.

he was found guilty of two things, 1. lighting a small stick that goes bang (great description gio), 2. waking up his 7-month old brother with the said stick.

after that, he reduced himslef to a corner, and started picking his nose again. and we all know what's gonna happen next. his shirt was speckeled with red stains; obviously blood.

he's been doing these shenanigans since he was small (he's extremely big for a seven year old). both of us are polar opposites. i'm the reserved one, he's outgoing one. i'm oftentimes quiet, he's the noisemaker. and the list of antonyms goes on and on.

so naturally, i couldn't take how he could be so..."him", and i told him off (maybe yelled at him a bit). i threatened to spank him after i was done cleaning his nose. yes, i was the one who cleaned his nose.

before he was born, i was the youngest one in the family. he always had the attention, the gifts and, did i mention the attention? so i used to lash at him when i was still in that "immature-why isn't anybody noticing me-i'm worthless" stage. and, basically, that reduced him to tears. and looking back i wish i could've done something differently with our relationship. i wish i could've put up with him more. i wish i could've lashed at him less.

so after i cleaned his nose, and made sure the ice pack did its job, i didn't spank him. instead, i gave him a jelly tongue i bought earlier. maybe he's learned his lesson.

and right now, my cousins at the door, asking for ube ice cream.

and i told him yes.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

hitting the big 100

100 posts ago, i was weird, fat, and young.

well, i still am weird and fat, but the blogger in me has grown so much that i really couldn't consider him young anymore.

100 posts ago, i badly needed a life, an identity, and a hobby. my first feeble attempts at posting something profound were fueled by "copying" the writing styles, as well as the themes of my co-bloggers' posts. i was seriously afflicted with the "blog inferiority complex"

but right now, i seriously don't need to visit another blog to think of something to write about. my writing style met personality, and they clicked from the get go. blogging become an addiction that, well, is addictive. lol.

100 posts ago, i was a junior who was enticed by the blog hype.

so i made my blog. but after a few posts, i was struck with the "one post syndrome"; the state of blogger stagnation, where the thrill of blogging faded after the momentous clicking of the "Publish" button.

but i didn't want to do that. i needed a hobby; an alternate identity. so after resolving my issues with center, clarity, peace, and serenity, my blog and i went on our merry way.

100 posts later, and i could probably say what a "merry way" it was.

100 posts later, maybe the blog hype reached a point where it's not exactly a hype anymore, but my blog still stands.

100 posts later, the writer's imperfections have probably seeped into his blog, but that doesn't stop him from posting on and on. sure, i could never be the great blogger who wins awards, but who said i should be?

100 posts later, and here YOU are, reading these words.

whether you've been a reader from the beginning, or maybe you just managed to blog hop your way here (--and still still still reading these, THANKS, because in one way or the other,

a blogger was born.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

blast from the past

a year ago...

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october 2006.

*this is actually my 99th post, and i'm planning to cap off the semester with a bang before the big 100. hurrah!**

Monday, October 15, 2007


to two of the many the people i value dearly in life...

Camille and Yana....

thanks for making my day, and making me cry in public. the euphoria i felt running towards the both of you, nevermind that the tears were inevitable, was, nice.

i missed you guys to bits!!! haha..apparently my mom was in it too...she never told me that they would come home for the sembreak (hmmphh..Tagaytay daw..hahaha..). well, i'm only waiting for Juneth to make her appearance and the cooking chorva at my place will commence! haha...

Tara: now that you're in Zambo, update your blog! finally, my fellow photographer in crime's baaaccckkkk!!!!

mga berchmans na nasa manila pa: uwi na kayo!

(im actually happy today despite the fact that my performance during the day's exams was sucky.)

Saturday, October 13, 2007

pre-finals shoutout

ok, so this coming monday na finals namin and right now, i'm pissed...

if you're not my classmate....then this isn't for you....

i texted you at around 11:00 am, telling you to send me the pictures via email of our activity. and you replied ok with the usual elipsis. then what time is now? it's friggin' 8:30pm and i haven't studied a damn thing for the finals. it's my fault for having extremely poor time management and a short attention span...

but what do i care if you're in ayala right now attending god knows what...and you live in friggin' mercedes ????????(for those who don't know, ayala and Mercedes are like, the North and south pole)...just send me the fucking pictures right i can be at peace, and move on with my life and study!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn it. i know this is a pathetic retalliation mechanism on my part...using my blog as the outlet for how much i despise you right now...but just be thankful i'm not a trouble making neanderthal who would gladly tell you off right now! but please......grow a spine you troglodyte!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-i was in charge of making a stupid slideshow presentation for NSTP...and the person who's supposed to provide me with 50% of our content decided to leave me hanging...and WAITING. and I HATE WAITING.


---new won't believe this:

"w8 lng inaayos kc ung interent nmn...baka 2mrow q na isEnd...:

---chingga. nevermind, don't useless piece of crap.

Monday, October 01, 2007

tweet tweet

time flies. tweet tweet.

so much for that. but seriously though, kelan lang ako grumadweyt ng high school, tapos ngayon, matatapos na ang first semester. midterm grades rock, and i hope i could do better sa finals.

dwayne (my lovable stick who's studying sa UK ngayon) and i talked on "the phone" last night. well, it was actually ym, but i seriously couldn't believe how great the signal was! it was like we were in front of each other, talking. well, props go the the UK internet providers, they make life easier for those living in the third world.

so basically we're done with all our lab experiments for the sem, so malamang this week, we're going to have our post lab discussion and probably our moving exam. may aerobics demo kami for pe this friday (kami ang sasayaw), and a mass blood donation on saturday, at the same time, we're going to film our filipino movie - thingy.

the thought of how random im posting makes me giddy. haha

Sunday, September 23, 2007

butterflies and Marion

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this is the only good photo i got from the alternative class on photography i attended. the bloody speaker ditched us, so we had half a day doing nothing.

but lo and behold, the poetry reading class was also there, so i sat in, and managed to read a poem as well! haha...

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here's shobe, doing what else? reading a poem.

but i asked God for butterflies, and what did he give me?

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thank thank thank goodness Marion and Justine(Torregosa) was part of the poetry group. so my photography class wasn't a total waste. we (justine and I) actually had fun exploiting Marion as our model. i can smell a photobook on the works! these pictures are just two of the many cover and commercial worthy photos we got from him. to Marion and Justine: the day (well, half of it) was AMAZING!

Monday, September 17, 2007


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Sunday, September 16, 2007

a move

i have this incessant desire to assert myself one way or the other. but lately, it's been it's been spinning out of control. sure, you really can't see me sweaty and disheveled, running around campus doing god knows what for my club(s), but the fanciful running is actually going on inside my head. i seriously want to drop everything and run away to neverland, where havaianas are free and elves make personalized Artwork shirts for myself, and sip my starbucks azuki bean frappucino while i'm lying down by the beach, in perpetual sunshine where i don't get burned.

but neverland doesn't exist. does it? i'm here, in perpetual sunshine where i do get burned. azuki bean frappucinos don't exist in Zamboanga. the havis collection here SUCK. and they don't have artwork shirts here, only cheap knock-offs.

i wanna quit. i want a quiet life. or at least more peaceful than the life i have now. i have no regrets...but i think i should rethink the whole direction i'm taking right now.

i'm at the crossroads between choosing what i should do, and what i want to do.

strangely enough, wanting something never felt this liberating...

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

"i get by with a little help from my friends..dudududu"

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one the reasons why i keep going is because i have people to help me along the way. a few days ago, (or was it a week?), i had a fight with one of my closest friends (not in the picture), and i really felt awful about it. /edit: we made up though, after a few hours./petty high school fights don't work in college. the people you've been with in high school are the people you have left. these people know you, and most of the time, understand you. i've realized just how important they are. and i've also realized how things do change, and can never come back, for the better, and for the worse.

the only thing i need right now is a willing ear for me to voice out my problems, and plates, to help me release my anger.

children, never play with acids. ok?

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sulfuric acid and tissue make a saucy combination.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

shortest post evah

devoid of all things interesting to say at the moment, well, let's just say Heroes makes my Saturday worth it.

Inday jokes give me my fair share of laughter and taking photographs of myself fuels my ego.

sad...Claire just got grounded by her evil dad.

Friday, August 17, 2007


i have a lot of things on my system right now. so, i'm breaking down my post into subposts for an easier read.
the midterms
i'm halfway through with my midterms and i think i'm doing well. lol. ok, i was pissed that i spent the whole night studying for CHD for the first day. well, i was scared to say the least. they say the CHD exams are always technical, so memorization to the highest level na yan.

when i got to my test venue, i was a few minutes late. to say the least, i effin' panicked!

ok, so, the CHD exam was easy. like, there's really no need to memorize a lot..since 90% of the exam was multiple choice. lol. so i might've paved way for carelessness, but it was a far cry from a nosebleed.

you must have noticed by now that a few posts in a row, my fil teacher's in there somewhere. the bitch did it again. imagine, she ''forgot'' to tell us to study a topic that we haven't discussed yet, because it's worth around 20 points in the exam!!! ugh..oh, wait, it gets better! riez showed me her timeline about the kasaysayan ng wika, given to her by her teacher, and it was three friggin pages worth of laws, people and most of all..DATES!!!!!!!! and my outline? um, the first four dates in her outline was part of mine. and...that's about all the dates i THOUGHT were important.

but thankfully, the berchies from the other bsn sections were there to literally save my ass far, CHD, Fil and Chemlec were relatively ok.

it's a good thing monday's a holiday, so at least i could at least, sleep soundly..or try doing it. i still have math, chemlec and english to worry about. pray that i'll come out of it alive.
the gorillapod!

mom's going to manila for a meeting. wait, aren't there areas in manila that are short of being underwater? pfftt...imagine being stranded in god knows where, surrounded by water..and trees..being carried away by the current..and cars..being carried away by the current...

i persuaded her to by me a gorillapod. it's a cool mini tripod that latches itself on almost any surface. it's sooo cool. chic, so chic. it has an unorthodox design, but that makes it unusually cool. once you attach a digicam on it, think dr. octopus miniaturized, sans the human appendages. just the tentacles. (^_^)

bye bye y!photos

omfg! i recently opened, and organized my yahoomail for the very first time, since i first got my email account during my first year in high school...and so, there i was, deleting messages, when yahoo emailed me and it said that they are closing down yahoo photos!!!! before you think that tearing up, i'm really not mouring. it's not as if i've been using it on a regular basis. so, i'm currently in the process of trying out new photosites, like snapfish, shutterfly and flickr ...just for the fun of it.

site peeve

it's annoying how sites like snapfish and shutterfly have all these cool features, like creating a personalized photo book as a keepsake, but as with almost anything in the web,they charge in dollars. it's either i have to have a credit card with a dollar account, or i to live in the united states. well, both of the options aren't going to happen anytime soon. T_T.

anyway, i'm currently searching the net for diy bookbinding, since i'm actually considering making my own photo book. making it at home is costs roughly the same as when i'm going to have it made somewhere else.

attack of the facial hairs from outer space

shite, my facial hair is rebelling!!! i shaved just a few days ago, and like weeds, they magically reappear. worse, they're actually extending their territory towards my neck area where the adam's apple is. shiittt, i'm becoming hairy!!!! the next thing i'll know, i'll be covered in hair, consuming beer in an old trailer, with a ginormous beer belly! gahhh

Monday, August 06, 2007

the bitch said what???!!!

no way.

no way.

no way.

no no no no no no no way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll never stand for art being dismissed in such an unfashionable, um, fashion. would you believe, our filipino slogan, the one we (jam, marie, and i), slaved for, during the course of Saturday evening....

was dissed!!!!!

after all the gluing, the sticking, the echos-ing, our bitch of a teacher (i've ranted about her a lot these days), told us we were not following instructions!!!!!!!!!! doesn't she know the difference between bondpaper SIZE and BONDPAPER????

flashback to two weeks ago...

the hag: uki lang yan, basta bond paper sized (makes a funny gesture), kayu na bahala kung anu ang ilalagay niyo jan (looks at us in a freaky marilyn manson-y look)..

fast forward to this morning...

the hag: ito naman (holds our 3-d mona lisa to show to the class...)......

the class: woooooooowwwwwwww......

the hag: hindi nagfofollow ng instructions...diba sabi ko bond paper lang??? tulad nito...
(shows the class the rest of the slogans, all of them more or less printed on sbp)

good lord, no one understands aesthetic appreciation these days! ok, sue us for not approaching her after the class to explain, but the least she could do is appreciate how extremely creative we are!!!!!! i dont get it, bakit ba hindi naiintindihan ng tao ang ibig sabihin ng magis??? maybe by the looks of how the situation was platyed out, like our project played the part of the ''circus freak'' among the piles of bondpapered-ness, but we were really intending to make our slogan really, fierce!!! and it is!!!!

it is fierce!!!!!! grrrrrrr...

palibhasa..berchmans. hehe

no seriously, i'm not kidding.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

local goings-on

a nasty habit for sure!

so, here are the things on my mind right now...

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a scrapbook for CHD..due on august 13. it's about the 10 herbs recommended by the DOH. ok, so our group hasn't collected the bloody weeds yet, but our scrapbook's gonna kick ass!! i know it.(^_^).

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a slogan due tomorrow for filipino. it's good that jam, marie and i are groupmates. thank goodness for that, 'cos again, it's gonna kick ass!!!!!!!! pftt...if it manages to be gender - sensitive that is.

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a picture says it all. it feels good to be part of a great fold such as this. next stop, the world. (^_^)

and lastly,

the heavens have heard my prayers.

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those havis are mine! mine i tell you!!!! mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

the things that go hop-hop inside my head

it seems to be a poisonous habit of mine to use my remaining hours of study to blog. i've just been thinking about a lot of things.

one, jo rowling's epilogue left a lot of gaping holes. thank god mugglenet recently made it public that she might be writing an encyclopedia of sorts to dive deeper into what happened to the remaining slew of characters. pero, it really didn't hamper me from making my own epilogue!! haha. i really can't believe the Harry series has ended. i could still remember those fateful gradeschool days when i was first struck by the pottermania. and here i am, again, slowly tracing my steps back in time, rereading the Sorcerers stone, and going forward from there.

next, admu, and the things that should have been, but never had. i miss my friends. i actually couldn't concentrate for a few days because i was, for lack of better words, overcome with so much anger and grief that i really considered stopping, or maybe shifting. but, i really have no idea how, but i kind of reconciled with the idea. not that i've totally converted..don't get it twisted... i would gladly pack my bags and go to manila and leave nursing behind. let's just day, i've learned to cope and deal with it. so, right now, i really don't want to hear people tell me, 'why don't you shift?', 'you're not happy', 'it was a wrong move' etc...for heaven's sake, all of them are right!!!.....but i don't need to be reminded of that.

then there's this thing called, 'my life'. so adzu's the backdrop of the seemingly monotonous days of study, and as usual, i have a few extras on hand right now. but the thing is, i'm not sure if made the right choice. there's this one club that i'm part of, but the more i think about it, the more i want to quit. it's like, i've lost my focus. it seems as if i really don't have time for myself. it kind of pisses me off actually, but it's the hypocrite in me that's saying that. i have time to spare for rest, by all means, but, i kind of want to have more than that. sometimes i just wish that i could jsut disappear and leave all my responsibilities behind. fly away or something, basta, minsan, i'm craving for a life i never had. like, a silent life, where no one expects a lot from you, where you don't shine at class (not that i'm shining that much, but it's not as if i'm bobo), where you can just blend in into the background. maybe i really couldn't have that life because, i have to do something productive. so, all i'm asking for here is for me to release 'excess baggage', so i could at least balance the bum and the *insert the opposite here*.

but most of all, i miss my friends. wait, i already said that. but what the heck, they're the only ones who could understand me...because unlike the bans that i'm being forced to socialize with here, my friends make sense.

so, i think that's all for now. gotta study. god, i want a hug right now.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

the haiku continuum

i can't focus...

haiku for my teacher (my sanity's going downhill from here)

i hate my teacher
she is a frigid biatch
she looks like yoda

haiku for my teacher 2

ma'am arevalo
my classmates do not like you
ma'am arevalo

the crazy bunny haiku

the crazy bunny
got a loaded gun and fired
my teacher is dead

the penguin haiku

i want a penguin
it walks funny and it's cute
penguin, penguin, sob

cha-cha haiku

let us dance all night
let the hot breeze caress us
until the dawn comes

these haikus are a reflection of my santy right now.

don't pity me.

help me.

no better yet

let's watch transformers. :)

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

i thought i'd be shallow today...

you think you can be the center of the conversation by making my past mistakes the topic of discussion? it's not about picking scabs anymore, wait, YEAH, IT IS ABOUT PICKING SCABS, scabs, that don't deserve to be picked because they've long disappeared. you think you know EVERYTHING about me, but you don't know squat. you have no idea how much i've changed.

worse, you just had to employ your impeccable grammar and sharp wit to deliver your very controversial statement. this isn't a compliment, IT'S SARCASM, you idiot. i just had to point this out because i know you couldn't read between the lines. (to think we attend the same English class, shocker really)

so go on, dance around campus being the omniscient (i bet you couldn't even spell this on your first try) one. divulge the skeletons in my closet if you can still find some more juicy tidbits to divulge.

shit, why am i even writing about you? you don't deserve this kind of attention. you're not worth every ounce of muscle strength to type this. you're not worth it. period.

just be thankful i'm in a generous mood to dedicate a post to a person like yourself. i'm a bit shallow really, but what the with it.

get a life idiot, or if you can't, then rattle* somebody else's.

*sarcasm pa rin.

Monday, July 16, 2007

a reflection about falling debris and wishful thinking

"when we are faced by a great loss, be it material, spiritual, or psychological, we need to remember the great lessons taught to us by the wise:patience, and the certainty that everything in life is temporary"
- page 178, "Like The Flowing River" by Paulo Coelho

the mere fact that gazzilions of people live everyday is, of all things, commonplace. but among all these great numbers, how many of them actually live the life they want to live? Coelho's relfection on 9/11 really showed a very plain scenario that would hit all of us sqaurely on the forehead. the people working inside the confines of the colossal buildings thought the day would turn out ordinary. that after work, they would go home to the families that need them, go to the nearest bar and drink, or go and score one for the night, just for fun. but in a blink of an eye, the building collapsed and took them with it. along with their secret dreams, and wishful thougts. that made me realize how short life is. if i spend my years doing something that can't make me happy, i would be cheating myself, and in retrospect, regretting evey day lived. before i die, i want to know i did something to make my life meaningful. i want to take the time i have and spend it like there's no tomorrow. i don't want the see the day i would be dragged down by my own falling debris and regret the seconds wasted before my demise.

- - this makes me realize how badly i want my very own photo exhibit, before i graduate. *sob*

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

pebbles, sad clowns, and sweat.

i'm such a bad person right now...imagine being swamped by schoolwork...and all you do, is deviate and make..


haiku uno.

this paved pebble path
brings me back to good times shared
yet never again

haiku dos.

the sad crying clown
stares at the moon with sheer awe
on a somber night

haiku tres

the activists sway
dancing under the hot sun
how sweaty they are

holy lord. what's wrong with me?

Sunday, July 08, 2007

what i'm doing right now as opposed to what i should be doing right now.

to continue with my update:

it's my first post using my laptop (scream!), nothing new about it. haha. now i don't have to be burdened with usb's or anything. god bless you, bluetooth.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

yani, mille, these were the pictures i was supposed to send you. too bad di niyo nareceive. oh well, at least andito. :)

shot on location at the 'unnamed' carinderia just across the street from the backfield gate.

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tumaba si jam o hindi?. haha. peace jam! location: vanda

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milo fun run .di kami tumakbo ni jam kasi ayaw namin. actually, mandated kami na tumakbo, pero tamang-tama, naubusan sila ng application forms. so we were saved from paying a hundred bucks. hahahahaha. these poor, unlucky souls though, were not spared. a moment of silence please. lol

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lipton is <3.>CEM exam. hihi.
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the bitch and the bat. haha. seriously, nagmatch pa kami ni tony that day. batman shirt din sa kanya, kaso black. haha. why does everybodlove batman? haha

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kristal, posing by the wall. no wait, si marko pala yun. fierce marko. fierce.

ok, so i have a lot of things to tell you guys when we get in touch soon. hehe. so far, ito nalang muna since one of you (ehemtaraehem), told me the post before this one was too bitin. hehe

i have confused priorities. seriously, i have to be studying CHD matter worth 5-6 pages of pure verbatim. and familiarize myself with the different lab equipment to boot. all of which i haven't done yet. and it's already 8pm. me dead.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

in our neck of the woods...

we dissect wolves and give fugly goblins a face-lift. but most of all, we're planning the perfect formula to instantly morph ourselves into superheroes, with our knowledge of precipitates and Bunsen burners.

an update is in order to banish the cobwebs of this poorly maintained blog. the hell!!!! miss ko na kayong lahat, as in lahat kayo, kahit mga andito lang sa tabi-tabi. miss ko na ang good old days. keber, good old days na talaga? haha..masanay na tayo, pero sige nalang. haha. hey, june 11 na pala ang HP!!!! haha..gosh, alam niyo ba, dahil sa effeminate chem teacher ng mga iba nating classmates, natutunan na silang mag-gay lingo! haha..nakakalerky talaga ang chorva ng araw nila. buti nalang di namin yun teacher, terror daw talaga si tweety (pajarito -- small bird). anyway, pictures are in order. wait, bago diyan, nakapasa pala ako sa Beacon! step closer to my very first photo exhibit sa gallery of the peninsula. well, things with 'echos' are still the same. he/she's still a fucking bitch na ubod ng yabang. wait, ADU invited me pala to join them. with the formal letter and all. haha. nice man yun. so where were we? pictures!

Title: CHEM-LOVE. :)
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background: kerilyn and lessa (beheaded), mga bagong friends namin ni jamjam and marie.

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jamjam doing something with the test tube. seriously, nice yung chem lab namin. fun.

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trying to manufacture our own powerpuff girls. hahaha

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the result of mixing volatile chemicals in the wrong order. tada, freak in a shirt. haha. cute daw siya sabi ng teacher nila. location: main lib.

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last but not the least, marie, jam and i, posing along the walls of harvard. haha. taken outside the chem lab before our practical exam.

------hanggang diyan muna. i'll post more pictures pag may time na ako. yeah, that's the thing about the situation: time is limited. haha. at least, nakapagupdate na ako.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

buhay freshie (?)

college does take you away from the things you wanna do the most, such as updating this blog for instance. so it's been a few days since i officially became a 'freshie' again. i've met most of my teachers already, and, they're, 'ok' in the strictest sense of the word.

i'm sporting a new 'do: the ultra conservatively short cut, straying away from the bramble bush i sported over the summer. hahaha. but still, i wish it was a bit longer. when will i ever learn.

there's this 'person' that pisses me off every time i see him. let's name him/her 'secret' (secret). everytime my friends and i have a conversation of sorts, he/she tries with all his fuckingly (not a word, don't use this in standard writing) annoying might to ask what are we talking about. and the most recent cuss was when a friend and i were talking about joining a club as *insert position here*, and he/she overheard us, and he/she said he/she wants to be a *insert position here*, too!!! ok, so you might say i'm being unfair to all the bitches out there who have the same idea as mine, but to be pissed at him/her is tantamount to 'know' him first. and trust me, the little weasel is, and will always be, a lost for words right now. and he also has this friend,(let's name her/him... 'ho'), but let's not go there.

first class in the AM...CHD, 10:30. got to go and have breakfast first. i miss my berchmans

wait, omg, i almost forgot, di na raw berchmans yung first sec sa HS, well not that i care too much, pero, kahit na....medyo insulting. haha..whatever nalang.

Friday, June 01, 2007


june na. gahhh




what would i do without you guys?

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

don't leave me...haha.

my comfort zone has been demolished. be brave gio, be brave.

"Honestly what will become of me.."

Wednesday, May 30, 2007


i'm back. i think. i'm still assessing the blogger in me if he still wants to blog. i'm still sane though!!!! well, 'sane' is word that's loosely put in my vocabulary. ok, so to try and remedy this situation...

shet. so madrama. haha. shit, why do i always sound gloomy in my posts? gloomy and so so boring. gahhhhhhhhh

anyway, i had a major epiphany this morning. an epiphany sooooooooo divine that LaVista would part ala the Red Sea and um..ok, back to the epiphany. here it is:
i finally made something 'complicated' using photoshop

*heavens parting. cherubims singing alelluya (sp?)*

yes, you heard that right. if
you , you, and you
know me that much, you would know that photoshop is my worst enemy..well, aside from html that is. i suck to the lowest degree that i could've singlehandedly made a new benchmark for "sucking at the language of tech". but lo and behold, the heavens took pity on my carcass, and there you go. so, the clamor to make something from photoshop arose when camille told me to make a collage for her, and give it to her (along with the pictures), before she leaves for brgy. 'One Big Fight'.... 'nuff of that. so....viola

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it's funny how the 'move' button was always there and i never thought it could actually 'move' the pictures into one canvas.'s ze idiot talking.

well, i already experimented with photoshop before but i had limited 'experience' with it. the results were ok. um, these were supposed to be my multiply banners, but the html idiot in me took over and, let's just say, it's 'a work in progress'. ^_^

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

TWISTURBIA's my alice's wonderland. zut. that's it. i think i did good. i should be an aesthetician. haha. no, better yet, i should tell my parents that i wanna take up multimedia somethin' somethin' outside zamboanga. i think i'll do good.


when pigs will sport angel wings and sing 'Regina Celli'.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

fearless forecast: the battle of the postscripts

i'm going to make a fearless forecast right now: BLAKE will win!!!!!!!! i've never rooted for a guy before (don't count season 2 'cause i didn't watch that season).

postscript: ok, after watching Jordin's final performance, she'll win!!!!!!!!!! i think. i hope. i dunno, they're both great!!!!!

another postscript: i knew it!!! haha..i knew Daughtry was going to perform at the finale!!!!!! *lalalala..i'm going home...lalala*

the most recent postscript: ok, jordin won!!!!! happy for her. to think she was 'constantly' being overshadowed by Melinda. but still, she won!!!! the finale song was lightyears better than last year's single/s (kat and taylor had their respective crappy songs). but blake's gonna go far though. it's pretty much obvious.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

my ME list.

*note: my blog's full of cobwebs. i need time to gather my thoughts and restart my whole blogging lifestyle. so......ito muna:

Patakaran:Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged needs to write an entry of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. (i won't do this part)

Umpisahan na!

My weird things/habits/little known facts:

1. i have this desire to have a whole closet, no...A ROOM FULL of havaianas. haha

2. i wanna dance the cha cha with a penguin.

3. i want to jump from a plane and dive into the ocean (and live!!!!) --- just to feel the adrenaline rush.

4. cockroaches make me scream like a girl.

5. i am obsessed with clothes.

6. i AM self-sonscious.

7. i wish i could talk like i'm from 'the hood' (you know, like some of those black people on jack t.v.)

8. i wanna be a fashion photographer/food stylist/chef, someday.

9. i wish i was shorter and slimmer. T_T.

10. i have a bad (probably evil) side, that constitutes 40%(?) of who i am.

11. i love ampalaya!!!!

12. a trip to Europe is my ultimate dream vacation.


14. i love ANTM and Project Runway.

15. shockeroo: i was born in 1991. (people who know me always have this shocked expression on their faces when they hear that for the first time)

ok, so i'm supposed to tag 10 people, but i'd rather pass on that. another unknown fact is that madali akong tinatamad when it comes to blogging. :)

Monday, May 07, 2007


Saturday, May 05, 2007


nonstop pokemon marathons allow me to keep my sanity.

so, a subpost entitled, "Days At The Beach"...

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Dapitan City Resort Hotel's beach has a nice view of the sunset.

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Dakak. it was nice...too bad the jellyfish seemed to enjoy it more. :)

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La Vista. it felt great to swim while raindrops fell.

Monday, April 23, 2007

water shadows

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i took these shots from our grotto last week. i was just channeling my inner photographer, and i fumbled with my camera a little bit. i'm not really sure if the results were spectacular, but, these'll do. i wanted to make the rippling effect look more pronounced, to no avail.