i have this incessant desire to assert myself one way or the other. but lately, it's been it's been spinning out of control. sure, you really can't see me sweaty and disheveled, running around campus doing god knows what for my club(s), but the fanciful running is actually going on inside my head. i seriously want to drop everything and run away to neverland, where havaianas are free and elves make personalized Artwork shirts for myself, and sip my starbucks azuki bean frappucino while i'm lying down by the beach, in perpetual sunshine where i don't get burned.
but neverland doesn't exist. does it? i'm here, in perpetual sunshine where i do get burned. azuki bean frappucinos don't exist in Zamboanga. the havis collection here SUCK. and they don't have artwork shirts here, only cheap knock-offs.
i wanna quit. i want a quiet life. or at least more peaceful than the life i have now. i have no regrets...but i think i should rethink the whole direction i'm taking right now.
i'm at the crossroads between choosing what i should do, and what i want to do.
strangely enough, wanting something never felt this liberating...
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