Resurrection (never!!!!)

I'm so annoyed right now. Really, I can't think straight.

I don't know how to spell. I dont know how to spell.

So, a few minutes ago (before i rushed to the toilet ^_^), I was minding my own business, browsing through my friendster page, looking at the hapless people who post really embarassing and annoying stuff in their so called "blogs", I noticed a new testimonial. An old grade school classmate (pre-school, now that you think about it) gave me a testi. And what *I can't find the specific word* me was the fact that the person addressed me by my disowned nickname. Really, when i fill up application forms, i dont write *expletive*, but simply, Gio. I've abandoned that name since the day i realized that it was annoying to the ears. And what really annoyed me (THAT'S THE WORD!!!) was the fact that it kind of resurrected the animosity i had with my old school. I hated my grade school. It made me feel uncomfortable, unwanted, and most of all, annoyed. It was the typical school full of fame-ignorant people who, after graduation, leave, wishing for a grand reunion of "chums" when the time is right. I don't want a reunion...I have a life now!!!!

And the other thing is I've changed. I'm not the person who has the annoying voice, who makes awkward mistakes. I'm ME, for the first time in my life, I've found my identity..an identity which no mediocre grade school can teach me. I am neither the most cheerful person in the world, nor the most emo-ish. But in a larger sense, when those people say "I hope you stay the same" over and over, i'm sorry to burst your bubble, but I have changed. I'm riding the waves of the NOW, not the YESTERDAY nor the TOMORROW. Don't bring back the old me. He died as soon as he learned that there was a life beyond autographs and ignorance after all.

*Don't get me wrong. I could never deny the fact that i never regretted attending that school. Up until my third grade, I was happy. Really happy. And I'm not angry at my old classmate. It's good to get in touch with people who sat with you during recess and fought for the right to use the burnt sienna (the first complicated color I could pronounce) crayon. ^_^

"hell made humanly tangible"

Yeah, I know that in the lives of students who ignorantly go through life full of squashed, mangled, pummled and sauteed dreams, there are weeks you can classify as "hell made humanly tangible". As for me, I have 7 - 8 months of that crapfest. Seriously!!!!!!!! Yesterday, I had a cough, then it led to "me not having to talk". Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttt! Really, the sensation feels like somone's choking you to death, one pathetic word at a time. And this was the week where we tallied and counted the votes for our student government. Esshh, late nights, groggy mornings. F***.

On a sweet (and sour) note, I'm already the vice-president of three organizations (our Debate varsity,YCLC (Youth Christian Life Community) and ITS (formerly Computer Club)). But I knew from the start that pain comes with the territory...so get ready for my up to date ramblings (kisha!!!!!).

And that's not all, I have a commercial project to shoot, three papers to make, two long exams to study for Monday (Morality and free-fall) and of course, a party to attend tomorrow. Regarding the UPCAT......*no comment*

but at least there's a consolation. :)

Human interest stories, among other things.

Happy Birthday Mom, I love you. :)

I haven't even wrote a single thing on my ACET from, and the deadline's near. And to top things off, the UPCAT'll be next week! ffffffffffffff.....!

Now...on to the real cheese.....

To make up for the weeks of not posting anything new, I'll just have to fill you in with my "human interest stories" which I thought about for days.

For those of you who've already seen Sukob, well, good for you. :)

Why do most people insist on conjugating an -h or -z etc. after say, "ko"? Like, I've seen a lot of friendster accounts with things like "hellow poh!!!! add moh poh ako, ha? sige, take carez poh! mwah!"...hahaha..Am I shallow????...it just plays with my curiosity sometimes. Well, not that I find anything wrong with that nor is that a public offense.lol. Everything's just so..*insert any adjective here*.

Next off, Why do aging (old) English teachers insist on wearing skirts that show off their legs? Okay, am I shallow again???? Well, maybe you can't really blame them for knowing that they aren't the Manilyn Monroe of the season...But do they have to be the Tina Turner?? again, it's just an observation. No offense.

Lastly, Why does it feel like you don't have enough time do nothing???? yes, the irony in it all. You can feel the clock closing in on you, giving you the "look". Making you feel guilty, making you feel bad. Then, claustrophobia sinks in......

I'm doomed.

"I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying. "

I love Meredith's quotes.:)

the fly, the bus and the queird

I have about a minute to type this because i'll be riding the waves of montony soon (read:homework).

Well, I deleted my previous post because I figured out that I've had enough of sadness for one day, so...

to quote our physics teacher, when the bus moves and there's a fly inside the bus, the fly won't be pushed to the end of the bus, it'll stay where it is. motion is relative. remember that. by relativity we mean, we judge something by a view or perspective. to us, riding in a bus and just staring at the floor, we won't feel the movement. but if you look out the window, and see the swooshing of the trees and houses, then congratulations, you can see. and the bus is moving.

so...in lit class, our teacher said to be human means living, not existing. by that we mean, you feel, you give meaning and you savor every idiosyncratic thing that you do, from spitting to shaking your butt. note: having your own idiosyncrasies makes you unique, not weird..plus, we humans are QUEIRD (a contraction of queer and weird).

so...i'm really not going to waste my life just looking at floor of the bus, and find nothing passionate and splendored about brushing your teeth.

and it took me fifteen minutes to write this...that's a start.

Inside my head

Have you ever felt that all the crap in you head doesn't make sense? Or, you feel you have a lot of questions, but don't know what they are? Or, images that don't make sense are put in fast forward and are constantly being played over and over in your head? Yung tipong, hindi ka mapakali, tapos hindi ka makatulog. Feel mo talaga, mayroon kang nakalimutan, o naalala, pero, hindi mo alam kung ano yun.

Lately, I've been suffering from that kind of torture.

For those who haven't heard, the ADZU HS will open it's doors to the new school year, tomorrow. Meaning, up until now, we've been stuck in an monotonous summer, where nothing goes, and you bore your ass off. Yeah, you might say we're lucky, but no, IT'S BORING AT HOME!!!!!!!!!

so much for that.

Anyway, you might say I'm "eager" to go back to school. But recently, that "eagerness" has turned into "anxiety"...omg, "eager to go back to school" is just a sad sentence...

Yes, I'm pathetic. I admit that. Basically, this entry has no "patutunguhan" (I've temporarily lost the ability to string together english words).

Basically, I believe that my "hindi mapakali syndrome" will be remedied by schoolwork. And I hope I'll find the answers to my questions (when I know what my questions are).

A lot of stuff's stirring inside my head. Ang gulo talaga.

So, moving on......

I'm at a loss whether I should replace B.S. Speech Pathology with another course for UPM. Obviously, UPM's my first choice, with Nursing and Speech Pathology. My second choice is UPD with European Languages and Family Life and Child Development. My classmates somehow discouraged me to choose Speech Pathology because it demands patience, and that isn't in my vocabulary.

My already large protruding tummy has gained the upper hand and now, it resembles a volleyball. But I've realized that it's ok because I'm not the only one who's gained weight. Take that Britney Spears.

I have to pay P500 before I could get an ADMU application from. Obviously, pang-mayaman talaga.

My yaya is back from touring Manila, including Baguio and Subic. At least now I don't have to eat rice that's burnt and at the same time has the consistency of lugaw.

Anyway, tomorrow will be the beginning of the end for me. We'll be graduating in a few short months. So sad. So sad.....