Even if I wanna sleep right now, even if my eyes are red and tired from yesterday's activities (two outings and an overnight), there's one thing that has been keeping me up for hours on end. Well, not really, but you get the point.
I'm pretty excited, anxious, scared of the things to come. By that, I don't just mean, OR, senior year and graduation. I'm talking about the years to come. I'm anxious because I don't want to be the guy who doesn't know what will happen to him in the next 10 years of his life. And what's weird is that, I'm anxious, scared and all the things in between, because I do have plenty of things I want to do, but I'm not sure how to do it.
I'm afraid that all the daydreams are just that - dreams. I want to be a chef and a photographer. Part of me wants to be an Oncologist - surgeon and part of me (though not that strongly), wants to get rich quick thus, a Nurse anesthetist would be a good choice.
I read somewhere that working with passion and love for your job is the priority in life - because whether we like it or not, we must find meaning in the things we do. The money and prestige is only secondary. Now given that fact and given my predetermined dream careers, I don't know what to choose.
The automatic choice would be Med school, because I want to be a doctor and save lives. BUT I have to say that I'm pretty tired of studying (haha) and the thought of devoting eight-ish years of more studying makes me more tired. Maybe this is a sign that I really am not passionate about med school and it's a lucrative career option, but I still have to really really weigh the pros and cons.
Now if I were to choose something that makes me happy, then maybe the arts would be my thing. I love food and I enjoy being in a kitchen. I could go on and on about spending my days cooking delicious food. Now, I actually thought of being a food blogger or writing about for a prominent paper if I were to pursue this.
The same principle applies to photography. I just love taking pictures and though I haven't been behind the lens for a long time, the desire is still there. BUT I really don't know how I'm going to pursue this because I don't think my parents would support me. I have a feeling that I'm on my own with this one.
Now a practical (like I haven't heard this word before) option would be be a nurse, go abroad, earn, and then pursue your other passions. I'm not going to argue about how reasonable that sounds BUT I'm not too keen on really practicing Nursing in the future, or any time soon.
I actually like how level-minded and rational I can be. Yes, I believe I'm rational when it comes to these things. On a good note, I know I can think things through good enough BUT it could potentially cage me in a cycle of uncertainty. The latter probably defies my principle of living life unchained, but sad to say, I have yet to feel that principle.
I don't know how to end this post. Am I soliciting advice? Am I venting deep-seated feelings? Or am I just proving to myself how confused I am?
Let's just leave it like that.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Thursday, April 08, 2010
The Lovely Bones: book and movie review
THIS HAS BEEN LONG OVERDUE. I watched the film adaptation of the Lovely Bones a few weeks ago, and I've been itching to write a review about it but unnecessary things like school came up so it took me this long to talk about the movie. I'm not really sure if it was released in Zamboanga but I'm pretty sure it's been months since the movie was shown. But either way, here goes.......
One of the pitfalls of watching book to film adaptations is the disappointment of a movie falling short of the expectations, simply because the book was amazing. This usually happens when you read the book first, then watch the movie, which I did with "The Lovely Bones". What's weird is that I actually liked "Dear John" even if my friends said it was inadequate when compared to the book. I liked it because I had no basis for comparison. You get my point, right?
Anyway, the book was dubbed as a "phenomenal New York Times Bestseller", so thank my lucky stars, it had a palpable hype that wasn't easy to ignore.
The book, in itself, was an incredible masterpiece. In a nutshell, it was all about the how life went on after the murder of Susie Salmon, the protagonist and whose point of view that book was laid out on. The book wove together events years apart, focusing on the people that Susie (from heaven) watched.
The way Alice Sebold unveiled the many details in the lives of characters (from Abigail Salmon, Susie's mom to Ray Singh, Susie's almost-boyfriend), and in the end managed to encapsulate the beauty of life and living in the closing sequences of the book, made me want to hug her. Yes, the book was THAT good.
The "Bones" in "The Lovely Bones" was a symbol for the intricate details in the lives of people, that when pieced together, suddenly brings a feeling of finality, contentment and peace. In other words, everything makes sense. Alice Sebold made it make sense.
My second paragraph and me practically jumping for joy after reading the book, probably foreshadowed less than favorable reactions to the movie. And just because it brought in Rachel Weiss doesn't mean that the movie was good. Whereas the book gave me sweet lemonade, the movie left me with a bitter taste in the mouth.
Yeah, I get Peter Jackson's attempt at focusing more on Susie and her journey towards heaven...no, it take that back, I DON'T GET IT. You see, essentially the book was all about how life goes and (and takes a few painful pitfalls) after the death of a loved one. But still, life goes on. The movie on the other hand, did step on that premise but it didn't really fulfill that. That's my only problem with the interpretation.
Obviously the book narrated decades worth of important events, and the movie people had no choice but to trim off the fat. But I felt that what was left was a carcass devoid of viable meat. Yes, I am this disappointed. The scenes did not connect at all, simply because it lacked the "heart" to make every thing cohesive. It had logic, but none of the emotion to make the scenes and the characters endearing.
I was disappointed at how most of the characters seemed static. They never attempted to be endearing and all they did was to blurt out their lines. I did believe Kevin Bacon as Jack Salmon, but I went only as far as the distance he covered in the cornfield, before he was beaten to a pulp. And please, it was pathetic to see Lindsey Salmon, Susie's younger sister, as a teenage sleuth AND pregnant years later without even bothering to change the character. *cringe*
From the beginning to the end, the producers had the potential to make every scene good and probably even Oscar-worthy, but no, nothing like that happened. The movie's biggest fault is its failure to tie together the characters' individuality and quirks with the scenes, and in doing so, the scenes never took off in terms of being cohesive and remarkable.
The movie should have showed us how Susie managed to cope and eventually accept her death even if it took her more than a decade. But after watching it, dear Susie has the right to go all angry spirit on Peter Jackson. I could go on and on about how the movie was lackluster, but I strongly urge you to read the book and compare it with the movie. Better yet, just read the book. Again, IT'S AMAZING.
And at the end of the day, all the lovely, poignant and moving scenes that should have taken off were left in the sinkhole, together with Susie Salmon's rotting, disemboweled corpse.
I would rate the movie: D
*******
A - Amazing! I wan't to watch it again and again
B - Pretty Good/Great
C - Good attempt but nah
D - I'd rather have syphilis
One of the pitfalls of watching book to film adaptations is the disappointment of a movie falling short of the expectations, simply because the book was amazing. This usually happens when you read the book first, then watch the movie, which I did with "The Lovely Bones". What's weird is that I actually liked "Dear John" even if my friends said it was inadequate when compared to the book. I liked it because I had no basis for comparison. You get my point, right?
Anyway, the book was dubbed as a "phenomenal New York Times Bestseller", so thank my lucky stars, it had a palpable hype that wasn't easy to ignore.
The book, in itself, was an incredible masterpiece. In a nutshell, it was all about the how life went on after the murder of Susie Salmon, the protagonist and whose point of view that book was laid out on. The book wove together events years apart, focusing on the people that Susie (from heaven) watched.
The way Alice Sebold unveiled the many details in the lives of characters (from Abigail Salmon, Susie's mom to Ray Singh, Susie's almost-boyfriend), and in the end managed to encapsulate the beauty of life and living in the closing sequences of the book, made me want to hug her. Yes, the book was THAT good.
The "Bones" in "The Lovely Bones" was a symbol for the intricate details in the lives of people, that when pieced together, suddenly brings a feeling of finality, contentment and peace. In other words, everything makes sense. Alice Sebold made it make sense.
My second paragraph and me practically jumping for joy after reading the book, probably foreshadowed less than favorable reactions to the movie. And just because it brought in Rachel Weiss doesn't mean that the movie was good. Whereas the book gave me sweet lemonade, the movie left me with a bitter taste in the mouth.
Yeah, I get Peter Jackson's attempt at focusing more on Susie and her journey towards heaven...no, it take that back, I DON'T GET IT. You see, essentially the book was all about how life goes and (and takes a few painful pitfalls) after the death of a loved one. But still, life goes on. The movie on the other hand, did step on that premise but it didn't really fulfill that. That's my only problem with the interpretation.
Obviously the book narrated decades worth of important events, and the movie people had no choice but to trim off the fat. But I felt that what was left was a carcass devoid of viable meat. Yes, I am this disappointed. The scenes did not connect at all, simply because it lacked the "heart" to make every thing cohesive. It had logic, but none of the emotion to make the scenes and the characters endearing.
I was disappointed at how most of the characters seemed static. They never attempted to be endearing and all they did was to blurt out their lines. I did believe Kevin Bacon as Jack Salmon, but I went only as far as the distance he covered in the cornfield, before he was beaten to a pulp. And please, it was pathetic to see Lindsey Salmon, Susie's younger sister, as a teenage sleuth AND pregnant years later without even bothering to change the character. *cringe*
From the beginning to the end, the producers had the potential to make every scene good and probably even Oscar-worthy, but no, nothing like that happened. The movie's biggest fault is its failure to tie together the characters' individuality and quirks with the scenes, and in doing so, the scenes never took off in terms of being cohesive and remarkable.
The movie should have showed us how Susie managed to cope and eventually accept her death even if it took her more than a decade. But after watching it, dear Susie has the right to go all angry spirit on Peter Jackson. I could go on and on about how the movie was lackluster, but I strongly urge you to read the book and compare it with the movie. Better yet, just read the book. Again, IT'S AMAZING.
And at the end of the day, all the lovely, poignant and moving scenes that should have taken off were left in the sinkhole, together with Susie Salmon's rotting, disemboweled corpse.
I would rate the movie: D
*******
A - Amazing! I wan't to watch it again and again
B - Pretty Good/Great
C - Good attempt but nah
D - I'd rather have syphilis
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Walk away
Dear Gio,
Not again. fuck it. not again. The last time I wrote to you, I said I hope I would write under better circumstances. Well, this is probably worse.
This time, you lost a friend. A real friend. And I know you're probably angry as hell right now because, if somebody were to say it to my face that I don't matter to them anymore, I would snap their neck and send them straight to kingdom come. Then I would break down and cry.
Which you did, pretty well I might add.
There's no point in consoling you right now, saying that everything's gonna be ok...because it won't. It won't be for a long time. Just walk away from the fight while you can still control your emotions, because there's going to be hell to pay when you snap. Even I'm afraid when you start to shake and your speech gets slurry. Walk away Gio, walk away while you still can.
Right now, just forget about your friend and let yourself heal. Lick your wounds and sleep. Walk away, sleep and heal. It's ok to be tired. I know you're tired of putting up with people with a one-track mind.
You're in pain, I know. You can't fight your battles when you're in a rutt. Retreat and reorganize. But most of all, let go of things for a while. Your attempts at repairing the frayed strands of the friendship is futile right now. It's ok.
Remember that you're a person too. You fall and you get hurt. Don't pretend that nothing's wrong but don't let negativity consume you. Walk away, please. For your own sake.
Yours truly,
The guy in the mirror
Not again. fuck it. not again. The last time I wrote to you, I said I hope I would write under better circumstances. Well, this is probably worse.
This time, you lost a friend. A real friend. And I know you're probably angry as hell right now because, if somebody were to say it to my face that I don't matter to them anymore, I would snap their neck and send them straight to kingdom come. Then I would break down and cry.
Which you did, pretty well I might add.
There's no point in consoling you right now, saying that everything's gonna be ok...because it won't. It won't be for a long time. Just walk away from the fight while you can still control your emotions, because there's going to be hell to pay when you snap. Even I'm afraid when you start to shake and your speech gets slurry. Walk away Gio, walk away while you still can.
Right now, just forget about your friend and let yourself heal. Lick your wounds and sleep. Walk away, sleep and heal. It's ok to be tired. I know you're tired of putting up with people with a one-track mind.
You're in pain, I know. You can't fight your battles when you're in a rutt. Retreat and reorganize. But most of all, let go of things for a while. Your attempts at repairing the frayed strands of the friendship is futile right now. It's ok.
Remember that you're a person too. You fall and you get hurt. Don't pretend that nothing's wrong but don't let negativity consume you. Walk away, please. For your own sake.
Yours truly,
The guy in the mirror
Friday, April 02, 2010
top picks on AI
These are my favorite performances during R&B night on American Idol
Andrew Garcia - Forever
I actually thought I heard enough of Andrew and his silly song choices ("Give me shelter", "I heard it through the grapevine") and dismissed that he was just a one-hit wonder (circa Hollywood week's "Straight Up" ), but he proved me wrong with this one. His take on Chris Brown's song definitely won him more time on Idol but I'm not sure if he's going to last long though. Still, his performance was great!
Crystal Bowersox - Midnight train to Georgia
It's the first time she played the piano on AI, and I thought she did well (not great though). Her take was clean, honest and no-frills - like her. My only wish though is for her to take on more current songs that fir her well, like Pink. She's still amazing in her own retro way though. I'm rooting for her to win.
Michael Lynche - Ready for love
Who ever attempts to do an India Arie song must know that there's the risk of sounding plain and boring, with not much range in the melody. But Michael managed to make it tenderly yet still powerful, and I agree that it was a smart, tasteful decision because Mike sounded amazing. I never did like him and I'm not sure if I will but this performance per se was great.
Lee Dewyze - Treat her like a lady
I've always liked Lee but there are times that he tries to sound too Nickelback ala Chad Kroeger. Ever since the top12 started, the more he tries to sound like himself and relax on stage. The result is probably one of the best vocals I've heard this entire season. I hope he reaches the top, and knocks Siobhan out of the way.
Andrew Garcia - Forever
I actually thought I heard enough of Andrew and his silly song choices ("Give me shelter", "I heard it through the grapevine") and dismissed that he was just a one-hit wonder (circa Hollywood week's "Straight Up" ), but he proved me wrong with this one. His take on Chris Brown's song definitely won him more time on Idol but I'm not sure if he's going to last long though. Still, his performance was great!
Crystal Bowersox - Midnight train to Georgia
It's the first time she played the piano on AI, and I thought she did well (not great though). Her take was clean, honest and no-frills - like her. My only wish though is for her to take on more current songs that fir her well, like Pink. She's still amazing in her own retro way though. I'm rooting for her to win.
Michael Lynche - Ready for love
Who ever attempts to do an India Arie song must know that there's the risk of sounding plain and boring, with not much range in the melody. But Michael managed to make it tenderly yet still powerful, and I agree that it was a smart, tasteful decision because Mike sounded amazing. I never did like him and I'm not sure if I will but this performance per se was great.
Lee Dewyze - Treat her like a lady
I've always liked Lee but there are times that he tries to sound too Nickelback ala Chad Kroeger. Ever since the top12 started, the more he tries to sound like himself and relax on stage. The result is probably one of the best vocals I've heard this entire season. I hope he reaches the top, and knocks Siobhan out of the way.
Thursday, April 01, 2010
youtube's fresh look
I opened youtube a few minutes ago to check out if somebody uploaded HD videos of American Idol top 10 performances. I found a great source for HD videos, and either the channel was created just recently, or I'm just an idiot that I didn't notice it before.
Anyways, youtube also unveiled a new interface for users and it looks like every site wants to be like facebook, in all its streamlined glory. I think youtube succeeded, whereas some sites like multiply and friendster were trying to hard. I mean, multiply just copied a lot of things off facebook, and it's not flattering at all. During the pre-facebook era, multiply was my go-to for sharing all my pictures. But now, since it's more practical and accessible for all my friends to view pictures on facebook, I'm shifting my gears and heading for that big blue F. Too bad though, multiply used to be a good site but now it just looks cheap, as in Friendster-cheap.
Since I can't complain as much for youtube, since it's indispensable and a godsend, I'm just going to rave about how the layout is easy on the eyes.
I like how there's no more awkward scroll buttons and there are less constricting lines.
I also like how, instead of the 5-star rating option, there's just the "Like" or "Don't like" (!). It makes it simpler and well, I'm too lazy to set a criteria for star ratings so it works for me.
I'm thinking of a lot of things to blog about right now. First on the list would be my favorite Idol performances last night. On that note, I never blogged about American Idol since the time I posted the Barney girl turned Dominatrix audition. At least this keeps me preoccupied.
Anyways, youtube also unveiled a new interface for users and it looks like every site wants to be like facebook, in all its streamlined glory. I think youtube succeeded, whereas some sites like multiply and friendster were trying to hard. I mean, multiply just copied a lot of things off facebook, and it's not flattering at all. During the pre-facebook era, multiply was my go-to for sharing all my pictures. But now, since it's more practical and accessible for all my friends to view pictures on facebook, I'm shifting my gears and heading for that big blue F. Too bad though, multiply used to be a good site but now it just looks cheap, as in Friendster-cheap.
Since I can't complain as much for youtube, since it's indispensable and a godsend, I'm just going to rave about how the layout is easy on the eyes.
I like how there's no more awkward scroll buttons and there are less constricting lines.
I also like how, instead of the 5-star rating option, there's just the "Like" or "Don't like" (!). It makes it simpler and well, I'm too lazy to set a criteria for star ratings so it works for me.
I'm thinking of a lot of things to blog about right now. First on the list would be my favorite Idol performances last night. On that note, I never blogged about American Idol since the time I posted the Barney girl turned Dominatrix audition. At least this keeps me preoccupied.
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