living my neverland

I let myself be driven by worldly things. Call me materialistic, but there is no day that I don't turn on my pc, check out my friendster and open my blog. I'm sure people out there can relate. But, there are those times that I just feel lost to the world. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to feel, in short, manhid (numb). Today, is one of those times.

Yes, it is in fact summer. I have the whole day to plan my *what- to- do- for- the- rest- of- the- day- and- maybe- perhaps- my- whole- summer* list. Yes, I have the whole day for the rest of the summer to do this. But, of course, being the manhid that I am, I chose not to do that today.

Instead, I will devote my life (well, the day) to create...my own world. Today, I want to be indifferent to the world. I lie down in my cozy shell of a room, watch t.v., and then do nothing that concerns them. I want to be inside a jar right now. A jar where I don't want to grow up, a jar where I can keep all of my memories preserved, my thoughts forever glued and everything just falls into place. Call it my neverland. (note: I DON'T WANT TO WATCH OVER MY COUSIN AND HIS FRIENDS PLAYING DOWNSTAIRS DAMN IT!)

Well, my game plan is set. I'll detach myself from the rest of the world and lock myself up in this jar where I won't worry about chores, food, and those other worldly needs.

*My definition of my world is simply me, alone in my room, the t.v. open, the computer turned on, books lying askew and the feeling of not caring prevails.*

...my neverland awaits...