the things that go hop-hop inside my head

it seems to be a poisonous habit of mine to use my remaining hours of study to blog. i've just been thinking about a lot of things.

one, jo rowling's epilogue left a lot of gaping holes. thank god mugglenet recently made it public that she might be writing an encyclopedia of sorts to dive deeper into what happened to the remaining slew of characters. pero, it really didn't hamper me from making my own epilogue!! haha. i really can't believe the Harry series has ended. i could still remember those fateful gradeschool days when i was first struck by the pottermania. and here i am, again, slowly tracing my steps back in time, rereading the Sorcerers stone, and going forward from there.

next, admu, and the things that should have been, but never had. i miss my friends. i actually couldn't concentrate for a few days because i was, for lack of better words, overcome with so much anger and grief that i really considered stopping, or maybe shifting. but, i really have no idea how, but i kind of reconciled with the idea. not that i've totally converted..don't get it twisted... i would gladly pack my bags and go to manila and leave nursing behind. let's just day, i've learned to cope and deal with it. so, right now, i really don't want to hear people tell me, 'why don't you shift?', 'you're not happy', 'it was a wrong move' etc...for heaven's sake, all of them are right!!!.....but i don't need to be reminded of that.

then there's this thing called, 'my life'. so adzu's the backdrop of the seemingly monotonous days of study, and as usual, i have a few extras on hand right now. but the thing is, i'm not sure if made the right choice. there's this one club that i'm part of, but the more i think about it, the more i want to quit. it's like, i've lost my focus. it seems as if i really don't have time for myself. it kind of pisses me off actually, but it's the hypocrite in me that's saying that. i have time to spare for rest, by all means, but, i kind of want to have more than that. sometimes i just wish that i could jsut disappear and leave all my responsibilities behind. fly away or something, basta, minsan, i'm craving for a life i never had. like, a silent life, where no one expects a lot from you, where you don't shine at class (not that i'm shining that much, but it's not as if i'm bobo), where you can just blend in into the background. maybe i really couldn't have that life because, i have to do something productive. so, all i'm asking for here is for me to release 'excess baggage', so i could at least balance the bum and the *insert the opposite here*.

but most of all, i miss my friends. wait, i already said that. but what the heck, they're the only ones who could understand me...because unlike the bans that i'm being forced to socialize with here, my friends make sense.

so, i think that's all for now. gotta study. god, i want a hug right now.

the haiku continuum

i can't focus...





haiku for my teacher (my sanity's going downhill from here)

i hate my teacher
she is a frigid biatch
she looks like yoda

haiku for my teacher 2

ma'am arevalo
my classmates do not like you
ma'am arevalo

the crazy bunny haiku

the crazy bunny
got a loaded gun and fired
my teacher is dead

the penguin haiku

i want a penguin
it walks funny and it's cute
penguin, penguin, sob

cha-cha haiku

let us dance all night
let the hot breeze caress us
until the dawn comes



these haikus are a reflection of my santy right now.

don't pity me.

help me.

no better yet

let's watch transformers. :)

i thought i'd be shallow today...

you think you can be the center of the conversation by making my past mistakes the topic of discussion? it's not about picking scabs anymore, wait, YEAH, IT IS ABOUT PICKING SCABS, scabs, that don't deserve to be picked because they've long disappeared. you think you know EVERYTHING about me, but you don't know squat. you have no idea how much i've changed.

worse, you just had to employ your impeccable grammar and sharp wit to deliver your very controversial statement. this isn't a compliment, IT'S SARCASM, you idiot. i just had to point this out because i know you couldn't read between the lines. (to think we attend the same English class, shocker really)

so go on, dance around campus being the omniscient (i bet you couldn't even spell this on your first try) one. divulge the skeletons in my closet if you can still find some more juicy tidbits to divulge.

shit, why am i even writing about you? you don't deserve this kind of attention. you're not worth every ounce of muscle strength to type this. you're not worth it. period.

just be thankful i'm in a generous mood to dedicate a post to a person like yourself. i'm a bit shallow really, but what the heck.....live with it.

get a life idiot, or if you can't, then rattle* somebody else's.

*sarcasm pa rin.

a reflection about falling debris and wishful thinking

"when we are faced by a great loss, be it material, spiritual, or psychological, we need to remember the great lessons taught to us by the wise:patience, and the certainty that everything in life is temporary"
- page 178, "Like The Flowing River" by Paulo Coelho

the mere fact that gazzilions of people live everyday is, of all things, commonplace. but among all these great numbers, how many of them actually live the life they want to live? Coelho's relfection on 9/11 really showed a very plain scenario that would hit all of us sqaurely on the forehead. the people working inside the confines of the colossal buildings thought the day would turn out ordinary. that after work, they would go home to the families that need them, go to the nearest bar and drink, or go and score one for the night, just for fun. but in a blink of an eye, the building collapsed and took them with it. along with their secret dreams, and wishful thougts. that made me realize how short life is. if i spend my years doing something that can't make me happy, i would be cheating myself, and in retrospect, regretting evey day lived. before i die, i want to know i did something to make my life meaningful. i want to take the time i have and spend it like there's no tomorrow. i don't want the see the day i would be dragged down by my own falling debris and regret the seconds wasted before my demise.


- - this makes me realize how badly i want my very own photo exhibit, before i graduate. *sob*

pebbles, sad clowns, and sweat.

i'm such a bad person right now...imagine being swamped by schoolwork...and all you do, is deviate and make..



haikus.


haiku uno.

this paved pebble path
brings me back to good times shared
yet never again


haiku dos.

the sad crying clown
stares at the moon with sheer awe
on a somber night

haiku tres

the activists sway
dancing under the hot sun
how sweaty they are




holy lord. what's wrong with me?

what i'm doing right now as opposed to what i should be doing right now.

to continue with my update:

it's my first post using my laptop (scream!), nothing new about it. haha. now i don't have to be burdened with usb's or anything. god bless you, bluetooth.





yani, mille, these were the pictures i was supposed to send you. too bad di niyo nareceive. oh well, at least andito. :)

shot on location at the 'unnamed' carinderia just across the street from the backfield gate.


tumaba si jam o hindi?. haha. peace jam! location: vanda


milo fun run .di kami tumakbo ni jam kasi ayaw namin. actually, mandated kami na tumakbo, pero tamang-tama, naubusan sila ng application forms. so we were saved from paying a hundred bucks. hahahahaha. these poor, unlucky souls though, were not spared. a moment of silence please. lol


lipton is <3.>CEM exam. hihi.

the bitch and the bat. haha. seriously, nagmatch pa kami ni tony that day. batman shirt din sa kanya, kaso black. haha. why does everybodlove batman? haha


kristal, posing by the wall. no wait, si marko pala yun. fierce marko. fierce.

ok, so i have a lot of things to tell you guys when we get in touch soon. hehe. so far, ito nalang muna since one of you (ehemtaraehem), told me the post before this one was too bitin. hehe

i have confused priorities. seriously, i have to be studying CHD matter worth 5-6 pages of pure verbatim. and familiarize myself with the different lab equipment to boot. all of which i haven't done yet. and it's already 8pm. me dead.

in our neck of the woods...

we dissect wolves and give fugly goblins a face-lift. but most of all, we're planning the perfect formula to instantly morph ourselves into superheroes, with our knowledge of precipitates and Bunsen burners.

an update is in order to banish the cobwebs of this poorly maintained blog. the hell!!!! miss ko na kayong lahat, as in lahat kayo, kahit mga andito lang sa tabi-tabi. miss ko na ang good old days. keber, good old days na talaga? haha..masanay na tayo, pero sige nalang. haha. hey, june 11 na pala ang HP!!!! haha..gosh, alam niyo ba, dahil sa effeminate chem teacher ng mga iba nating classmates, natutunan na silang mag-gay lingo! haha..nakakalerky talaga ang chorva ng araw nila. buti nalang di namin yun teacher, terror daw talaga si tweety (pajarito -- small bird). anyway, pictures are in order. wait, bago diyan, nakapasa pala ako sa Beacon! haha..one step closer to my very first photo exhibit sa gallery of the peninsula. well, things with 'echos' are still the same. he/she's still a fucking bitch na ubod ng yabang. wait, ADU invited me pala to join them. with the formal letter and all. haha. nice man yun. so where were we? pictures!

Title: CHEM-LOVE. :)

background: kerilyn and lessa (beheaded), mga bagong friends namin ni jamjam and marie.


jamjam doing something with the test tube. seriously, nice yung chem lab namin. fun.


trying to manufacture our own powerpuff girls. hahaha

the result of mixing volatile chemicals in the wrong order. tada, freak in a shirt. haha. cute daw siya sabi ng teacher nila. location: main lib.

last but not the least, marie, jam and i, posing along the walls of harvard. haha. taken outside the chem lab before our practical exam.

------hanggang diyan muna. i'll post more pictures pag may time na ako. yeah, that's the thing about the situation: time is limited. haha. at least, nakapagupdate na ako.