i'm hyper not because i downed on a can of Sting to keep me awake to prepare myself for phase 3 and 4 of operation hikug (refer to my previous previous post)..in fact:
I. MUST. RESIST. THE. URGE. TO. STUDY.
it's a viciously funny habit which makes my mom laugh at me. i would usually set my alarm for 3am so i could get a head start..but usually, i just turn it off and go back to sleep. i feel sorry for the alarm clock though. it's the ringing one complete with twin bells. and it's in a color that i like: copper, which makes it even more special.
i promise, i'll change..it's just that i'm laughing at myself right now for this newfound disregard for everything. don't worry, the dopamine will wear off tomorrow: that's when i start to panic and my hands get all sweaty.
what made me even giddier tonight are two pictures on my desk right now. they show me and my classmates, 4 years ago (2nd year hs). most of us probably grew a few inches over the next year or so. but for me, it was extra extra awkward because i was humongous. i am still pretty big, but somehow, people won't associate the word "Fat" as much as they did years ago. not that there's nothing wrong with having a few extra miles on your gas tank. it's just that i have a skewed line of thought that branches out to an even more distorded self-image. i'm a hypocrite on so many levels! anyhoooo.....
i won't study tonight. i haven't been so adamant about something in a really long while.
and i think i picked the worst time to be rebellious.